Offering her observations about Hollywood, actress Sharon Stone once remarked, “If you have a vagina and an attitude in this town, then that’s a lethal combination.” The same can be said of most professions, including adult entertainment. Just ask Misti Dawn, a three-time AVN nominee who recently learned the hard way that asking questions and standing up for yourself are not the path to advancement.

Earlier this year, Misti Dawn was booked for a scene in an upcoming parody film. The movie is being released by a major production company, under the direction of one of the biggest names in adult filmmaking. As start date approached, still under the impression that she had the part, the actress was informed that she was no longer cast. She was told that the director had omitted her, and then told instead that this was the production company’s decision. Determined to get the facts straight, Misti Dawn contacted the company and requested an explanation. In turn, she received a scathing call from the director, who singled out her weight and body ink as his reasons for rejection. She detailed incident on her blog, received overwhelming support from fans, and has since become persona non grata to both male and female directors.

At 125 pounds, Misti Dawn is far from a contender for The Biggest Loser, and certainly not a plus-size model or a BBW in the adult world. Was her weight really an issue or is there more to the story? Are women in adult expected to be seen and not heard? Why does asking “too many questions” so often cause women and men to lose their jobs and possibly their careers?

In this interview, Misti Dawn reviews the steps that led to the hostile phone call, takes on the double standards of adult entertainment and reflects upon the consequences of her actions.

Note: As a courtesy to Misti Dawn, who was threatened with legal action for identifying the involved parties in her blog, GT XXXtreme is withholding the names of the director and production company.

GT: Let’s start from the beginning. You were promised a part in this movie. What happened?

MD: My agent said they were going to do an all-girl scene of storm troopers. I went to the audition — you don’t really “audition” in porn — and for a month and a half they kept saying I was going to be in the movie. A week before shooting, [the casting director] said that [the director] didn’t put me in the movie. [The director] said that [the production company] didn’t approve me and he was sorry. There were conflicting stories, so I e-mailed the CEO of [the company] and he talked to me on the phone about it. He said he had no problems shooting me, I wasn’t not approved, there was no issue, it was just [the director] taking the easy way out instead of just saying it. He said, “I’ll have [the director] call you to explain.” I was in my car when he called and started yelling at me. I worked in customer service for credit cards, so I’ve been on the phone and yelled at and called every name in the book and I can stay calm. I know that makes people angrier when they’re trying to get you to yell back. He started going off and said he said, “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings; I just didn’t want you in the movie.” I said, “That’s fine. I just didn’t understand why you miscommunicated.” He said, “You’re wasting my time!” I said, “You called me.” He said, “You know why I didn’t book you? I didn’t book you because you’re fat and ugly and tattooed! What else do you want?” I said, “Thank you for your opinion,” and he hung up on me. It was longer than that, of course. It was drawn out and I got yelled at.

GT: How do you audition for a girl-girl scene? Did you have to read for it? What was their decision based upon?

MD: They didn’t have us read a part. They just picked out who they wanted, and he made a comment about me being short. I had told a friend about the movie, she contacted them, she’s shorter than me, heavier than me and she has a full sleeve tattoo, so it was just personal preference. I totally understand that. Everyone has the right to hire who they want. I just don’t see why they have to lie about why they do it. Why can’t they just say, “I don’t think you’re right for the part,” and not tell you for weeks that you have a part?

GT: Who confirmed the casting?

MD: They told my agent that they were going to book me, but they never set the date and it went back and forth. I just wanted a clear answer. You don’t go to a job interview and they call you back for five more interviews when they have no intention of hiring you. [The director] was paying for half the movie out of his pocket and half of it was coming from [the company]. They had no problem with me; it was just [the director] who didn’t like me. He doesn’t find me attractive and that’s fine; it doesn’t hurt my feelings.

GT: Who has final say in a booking? Is it the director or the production company?

MD: A director can suggest someone and the production company can say they don’t want to finance that movie with that person.

GT: How did you feel when your agent told you that you weren’t getting booked?

MD: I wanted to know why, and that’s when I got different stories.

GT: Had you ever worked for this director before?

MD: No. I’ve heard stories. He’s notorious for running 22- or 26-hour workdays. There’s a video on YouTube of [another actress] complaining about him. He booked her at 8 in the morning and didn’t shoot her until 4 in the morning because he takes so long. Instead of just booking you the day he needs you, he’ll try to jam everything into one day. He’s not the most reasonable person. But because his movies make so much money, he can push people around. He actually threatened to sue me over my blog. I think he got so upset because the first day I posted my blog, I got 10,000 hits. It was kind of my way of saying, “You thought I wasn’t important enough to sell this movie, but now you’re upset because I’ve gotten so much attention on the Internet over how terrible you are.” The people who buy video games and comic books, which are my market, are the people who still buy collectibles, so they would have bought the movie just on the basis that they want to collect it, but they’re also down for people getting treated fairly. There’s more. There are things I would love to put out there publicly that are even worse, but I can’t.

GT: This is not the first time you’ve had problems because of ink. Scores initially didn’t want to hire you as a dancer for the same reason.

MD: That’s true. That club is actually not part of the Scores chain. When I first auditioned, I was on the cover of a couple of magazines, I was in Suicide Girls, and they wouldn’t hire me because of my chest tattoo, even though there was a girl with a swastika on her back working there. People seem to have an issue with a chest tattoo. A heart and wings is offensive, but a swastika is A-OK.

GT: A lot of women in adult have ink. How do companies decide what is or isn’t too much ink?

MD: It’s really odd, because what’s considered too much in tattooed in porn is not so much about how much you have, it’s where you have it. You can have your full back done, but in front of the camera you look like you don’t. There’s no way to turn in front of the camera to hide a chest tattoo. I think it’s because the people who run the companies are older and have a view of girls with tattoos. I’m approved to work for Penthouse, but I’m not approved to work for Hustler because of my tattoos. The casting woman has been pushing for them to cast me forever, but they won’t do it.

A lot of companies aren’t really sure what to do with me because I don’t look like a punk rock chick. I’m not really a punk rock chick. I’m not a biker girl. From the neck up, I look like the girl next door. From the neck down, I have tattoos, so they’re not really sure where to put me. My whole theory is that porn is afraid of the Internet, and instead of realizing that the business is changing, and working with the Internet, they’re not getting it. People don’t care so much who’s the contract girl that they can never e-mail or tweet or meet. They want someone they can be interactive with and that they see on the Internet, because that’s where they buy porn now. Very few people buy a DVD. They download, and the solo girl site is selling better than ever because people want something different from porn now. They want interaction with who they like. They like someone based on their looks and on what they’re saying. It’s almost like a more in-depth fantasy now.

GT: When did it change?

MD: Probably in the last five years. With Facebook and Twitter, it’s much easier to contact people. I see girls who work four or five times a week and their websites are far lower than mine, and as silly as it sounds, they don’t even have as much of a following on Twitter, but that really gauges how much people are interactive with you and how much people care to follow you. I work, like, once a month. The rest of the time I work on my website. I rarely get cast for roles I’m really excited about. I don’t get to do a lot of features and [that movie was] a really big interest of mine, like a lot of people.

GT: What upset you the most: not getting the part, being discriminated against because of the ink, being told that you’re fat or the conflicting stories?

MD: It was the lying; that’s what bothered me. That’s the part of porn that bothers me the most. So many people say they’re going to book me and then they don’t. Why waste my time and yours? Just say I’m not what you’re interested in; that’s totally fine. Whatever is attractive is up to the person that’s looking at it. And I think in porn a lot of people are looking at what they think is attractive and they don’t think about what other people may find attractive, because their views are different.

GT: You’re far from being fat. Do you think he meant it or was he just hurling the most obvious insult that a man can give a woman? Men know that commenting about a woman’s weight is a way to hurt her and/or control her.

MD: Oh, I agree. His tone and manner were definitely about trying to hurt my feelings, but I don’t particularly care about his opinion on things because he doesn’t act in a businesslike manner but he wants the respect of a businessman. You can’t have both. You have to act according to business standards if you want to have that respect. I didn’t care that he thought I was fat; there are 15,000 people that follow me on Twitter who don’t think I’m fat. So yeah, it was just him trying to make me upset, and if I actually cared about his opinion, I might have been upset, but I didn’t care. I think he wanted things the way he wanted them, he didn’t want to be questioned, and no one has ever gone above his head before.

GT: You’ve done plenty of scenes and photo shoots and you’ve danced. Is this the first time someone has commented about your weight?

MD: Oh, definitely, not even in high school.

GT: There is a split-screen picture of you on your Facebook page at age 15 and now. What size were you then and what are you now?

MD: I weighed 155-160 and I got down to 114. Now I’m 125 and I’m 5’2.

GT: There are women of all sizes in adult.

MD: Definitely. There’s variety because men love women of all sizes. My cousin is 150 pounds and he loves 300-pound women. It’s personal preference. Not everyone likes bone thin, not everyone likes big boobs, not everyone likes little boobs. But when I was fat, I can honestly say I never had any self-esteem issues, and now that I’m thin … in adult, nothing is ever good enough for somebody.

GT: When situations like this come up, is it any wonder that so many women have eating disorders?

MD: I totally understand. No matter how skinny you are, you’ll never be skinny enough, and the thing I don’t get about the skinny thing is every fan I’ve met, everywhere I’ve danced, most guys I’ve met are not into bone-thin girls. They like women who look like women. But it’s just a way to make you feel worse about yourself or try to control you in some way, because if you have low self-esteem, you’re not going to argue with anything they ask you to do.

GT: Meanwhile, the men in the adult industry, while in better shape than years ago, are far from perfect in many cases. Why is that OK? We always hear that the women make more money and have more notoriety, but is there a double standard from a physical standpoint?

MD: I really think that female empowerment is completely changing. Guys make less money and are in the background, but they’re buddies with the directors and they work more, so there’s times when they’re making more, or at least the same, based on how much they get to work versus how much the girls get to work. As far as looks, if the girl has to starve herself, why does the guy get to go out and drink beer every day? I don’t feel that the pressure is there on the men. I definitely think there’s a double standard. I’m sure there’s some pressure on guys, but I don’t hear about it. I think if you’re a guy and you make friends with the director, you’re set.

GT: What has been the outcome of defending yourself?

MD: Since that happened, I’ve gotten no work. Nothing. My agent said that people are afraid to hire me because they’re afraid I’m going to call their directors out. Being an opinionated woman in porn apparently is a big no-no. I’ve had people tell me in private that [the director] is a dick, but that’s about it. Everyone sucks up to him. Porn is really all politics, and any time you’re not a pushover, people don’t like it.

GT: What is your next move?

MD: I’m not really sure what’s going to happen. I’m focusing on my website, and if no one wants to hire me, fine, I can do it myself. It’s fun, but it’s not my ultimate goal in life. I went to college and I plan on going back, and I really want to get into gaming. When someone tells me I can’t do something, I’m not OK with that. Anything I apply myself to, I don’t settle for second best. I give it my all and do it as well as I can. I just don’t understand why people are so afraid of me. My argument was legitimately written out and I’m being chastised for it.

GT: In retrospect, do you have any regrets about speaking out?

MD: No, I have no regrets. I did what was right for me. I tried to keep it amicable, but he was not interested in having a legitimate conversation. It sucks that it happened the way it did and that I have to pay for it, but I know I made the right choice and that’s what’s important to me.

Interviewed by Vonda Dix